anxiety

I got you babe

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What do we do when it so regularly feels that we are gasping for breath and just keeping our heads above the water to survive?  It’s a tricky place to be and one that can feel quite lonely.  When things are particularly tough it can be quite natural to feel that we are the only […]

attunement

Time after time

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Do you ever think there’s not enough time in life? I think that must be the thing I say the most. In fact, I probably say it every day. When your day is squished between 9 and 3 and nap times are the only time you have to get anything done life continually feels very […]

adventure

In my daughter’s eyes

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I never thought I wanted children for many reasons, but the main one being I was just too selfish. Who wants to sacrifice hours of sleep every night for however long? Who wants their “me” time to pretty much disappear? Who likes cold tea/coffee? Who wants to spend the next substantial amount of years feeling […]

anxiety

I’ll cry if I want to

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So, little Awena turned one at the weekend. The sun shone, which sandwiched between two horrendously wet days, was a great blessing. I woke up at 03.50 realising at that time last year I’d had my first skin to skin and Awena had by, now, 20 minutes after being born, been popped in an incubator.  […]

2020

Memory

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August 31st 1997.  Who were you with?  September 11th 2001.  Where were you?  March 23rd 2020.  How does that make you feel? Memory.  A feeling I’m struggling to find words to describe.  My little Awena is approaching her first birthday and I absolutely can’t believe it.  Nearly a year on, I am feeling such a […]

basic need

Rainbows and butterflies

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One thing I hold lockdown completely responsible for is robbing me of my creative streak.  I haven’t written a blog consistently for months, not due to the lack of something to say, but due to the fact that I have just found it so difficult to motivate myself to be expressive.  Emotions are funny things […]

basic need

Some peace of mind

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It’s been weeks since I feel I’ve had the ability or mind space to sit down and write a blog.  I think that quite happily sums up how my brain feels at the moment…rather like mush.  As one Groundhog Day rolls into another it becomes not only essential to find those treasured moments we are […]

anxiety

Candle in the wind

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I’m a bit unsure as to how to introduce today’s blog.  I think all I can do is allow the words below to do the work.  As many of you are probably aware last week was a remembrance week for all those who have lost a baby at whatever stage of pregnancy or life.  I […]

adventure

You just gotta ride it

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Neonates.  What an all-encompassing, all-consuming, emotionally exhausting experience.  I’m finding it hard to find the words to say to describe the 19 days Awena spent in the neonatal unit.  I think I have to start by thanking the amazing staff who made the whole experience so much more manageable.  Without their reassurance, confidence and general chats I am convinced […]

adventure

Canvas of Life

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After a chat with my family last night and having been asked the question “have you got any news” and finding the answer was “no, not really…pretty much same old, same old” I thought to myself, perhaps this week it is time to share some news!  If you read last weeks blog you would have […]