One thing I hold lockdown completely responsible for is robbing me of my creative streak. I haven’t written a blog consistently for months, not due to the lack of something to say, but due to the fact that I have just found it so difficult to motivate myself to be expressive. Emotions are funny things and are so easily controlled or affected by circumstance. In a season of life where everything is much the same every day when life feels monotonous and with little sparkle I have found my emotions have followed suit. They have been dubbed down and left a sense of feeling flat, a feeling of needing to scoop oneself off the ground, but that is a lot of effort. It is at times like these I am so grateful for little wonders.
I guess this blog is a thank you to my two wonderful daughters. They keep life interesting for sure. Poppi’s vibrant and energetic nature means you have to get up off the floor and Awena’s joyous changeability keeps you guessing from one day to the next. Throughout lockdown, we have continued to chat about our “highs and lows” in the day and that which we are thankful for over dinner. So many times, for all of us, our little family has played a key part. This doesn’t mean that every day is full of rainbows and butterflies. Far from it. There have been tears, huffs and puffs, frustration and probably some door slams. Nevertheless, we can learn from these episodes and thus grow in our understanding of and love for one another. However, this requires us to make a choice. Often a tough one.
One of the greatest, yet probably one of the most dangerous, gifts we have been given in life is the gift of choice. So much of life is based on the choices we make. It is so hard to make a choice at all, let alone a good choice when you feel flat on the ground. So, how can we make those good choices when the effort to do so feels beyond our reach. Start small. Something I have found to help is giving myself a word or intention for the day (such as love, joy, peace). With this in mind, I can seek to find things of that nature during the day. Another thing I can not recommend enough is keeping a thankful diary/list. End the day by thinking of one thing you are thankful for, one thing that made you smile, one thing that met your intention for the day. Sometimes you can really feel like you’re scraping the barrel to find it, but when you do discover that one thing, what may have seemed like a fairly mediocre to rubbish day, suddenly has a sparkle. By doing these two simple little things you have made your day into a positive sandwich.
I know it is not easy. The winter lockdown has pushed humanity to the extremes and many have clocked into survival mode. But there is hope. When you are at the bottom, the only way is up. Let’s draw on our warrior instincts and fight this one to the end. Please do share your stories of the things that have kept you going over the past 12 months in the comments below. You never know, it might really help someone. We have been given fighter spirits for a reason. Let’s not let groundhog day rob us of our true selves.