I think I find that holidays are one of the times for me that I notice the most how much of a sacrifice it is having children. Don’t read that in a bad light. It’s not at all that I think ‘why did I do this?’ but I find that life adjusts even more. Everyday routines become the new norm, but when you find yourself in the beautiful Loire Valley for 10 days, walking round pretty villages or finding a wine tasting experience are suddenly not top of the priority list and if anything, as the holiday goes on, they sink to the bottom.
Every year Daf and I try to maintain the kind of holiday we like and by day three decide that’s not going to work and we need to find a park or a pool. I wonder if we should do the classic pool holiday with kids club, but no matter how hard I try, I’m just not that kind of holiday-er. In my mind I always think the idea of lazing by a pool or sitting on the beach seems like a lovely idea, but when I get there, I’m itching to move after about 20 minutes. It’s just not going to change. So, after we find our groove by a process of trial and error we work out the best way to holiday. Obviously that groove changes every summer as little Poppi is a year older.
This year we spent 10 lovely days in the Loire Valley. A beautiful part of France full of sunflowers and vineyards. We stayed in a lovely house and if nothing else it was so refreshing for the busy pace that life usually is, just to slow down. The first few days were hard work as we battled on trying to drag a three year old round a chateau (all you more experienced parents out there are probably rolling your eyes thinking…what the heck are they doing?!), an ancient city, and the inevitable trip to the world’s largest hypermarket where
you can’t find anything or there’s so much of everything you spend ages making a decision; “shall we get this salami or that salami, oh, or hang on there’s a mixed pack of salami, chorizo and Parma ham…” Nevertheless, we managed to seek out a park with a little coffee shop a short cycle away. So it was the best of both worlds and we frequented the coffee shop more than we might have done had Daf and I been holidaying alone. As Poppi is still an only child, she likes to have a playmate so I have to remind myself that I need to give her that time too. The word ‘relax’ takes on a whole different meaning. Switch off time is not quite what it used to be!
But then I start to wonder if maybe I’m just not made for holidays!! I like to stay busy and doing things, and sometimes the slower pace can make me realise just how tired I actually am. I also like to keep exercising, from which I know many people take a well-deserved break (until they come back and realise how much harder it is to get back into it and are then cross with their present self for not listening to their future self) – ask me another time about present and future self. They really are revolutionary (all thanks to my little sister).
Exercising on holiday doesn’t have to be a strain, it doesn’t have to be miserable and it doesn’t have to be time consuming! I take with me a selection of resistance bands – they fit easily into a suitcase and can be used wherever. I use these in my pre and post natal bootcamps. They’re so versatile and totally allow for a good work out. We did a few family bootcamps in the garden (Poppi enjoys playing with the bands too – until she puts the small black one round her feet and is adamant she can’t walk and needs help!). I also enjoyed some beautiful runs through the little roads winding past the vineyards and sunflowers. I guess I’m blessed by being a morning person so that I can just get up and get on with it before the rest of the family is up, but with the hour difference on the continent that wasn’t so much the case. Although I’m usually up by 6am our time, to be up at what feels like 5am is a bit much (especially when you’re on holiday – I do slow down a little! Honest!!). This meant I was up with Poppi so she would do her best to join in. But before you think, what a perfect daughter, that was definitely not how it went and there were a number of mornings when again I had to question if this was the right way to holiday.
I came to the conclusion (and sorry if many of you have found this already) that one of the most important things about a holiday is that it is for everybody. There will be some things we do that we don’t like/want to do, but someone we are holidaying with does. And that’s ok. Poppi is old enough by now to have a sensible conversation and so by sitting down and chatting about the things she wanted to do as well as the things Daf and I wanted to do she could understand that in each day there was something for everybody.
Poppi had the park and ice cream role play (just as well I didn’t eat as many real ice creams and the fake ones I was given or I would have turned into an ice cream), whilst Daf had his wine tasting and I enjoyed being out seeing pretty country side sometimes on the bikes or whilst running. Learning to accept each other’s differences isn’t easy and when we’re tired or think “it’s my turn to relax” the sacrifice can feel unfair. I think as a nation we put so much pressure on a holiday to be the perfect amount of sun, relaxation, revitalisation, good food, warm evenings (you name it), and when it doesn’t quite meet our expectations we end up disappointed and frustrated. But, maybe, it should be a further test of our patience and selflessness. Holidays are for everyone. I am learning more and more that life is an ongoing opportunity to grow. We are continuously thrown challenges and sometimes we manage them well and other times we really don’t. But, there is always space for reflection and learning so when we face a similar situation again we can think, “ah ha, I’ve seen this before” and we can attempt to do a better job.
As we learn to be selfless and model it to our little ones they learn too that we can all give and we can all receive. Tedious and organised and un-relaxing as it may sound, I think the lesson I am going to take away from this holiday and implement next year will be some sort of family meeting (!). The opportunity to mind map what everyone wants to do and then watch as we tick the things of the list (even allowing Poppi to tick off the things she wanted to do so she can see they’ve been achieved) may just help us all to see that holidays are for everyone.